Stop trying to motivate your team.Start paying attention to their nervous system.

After a decade working with leaders, I keep seeing the same thing:

Motivation isn’t misunderstood because people don’t care.

It’s misunderstood because leaders don’t understand how the human brain works.

Most motivation systems are built on dopamine.

Bonuses. Recognition. Promotions.

That used to work.

Now your bonus is competing with TikTok.

And it’s losing.

But that’s only half the problem.

The same systems flooding people with rewards
are also draining them.

Constant pings. Bad news. No real off switch.

So you end up with something strange:

An overstimulated reward system
and an exhausted stress system

At the same time!

You cannot motivate a depleted nervous system.

A flowerbed won’t grow on dry sand.

It’s not you.
It’s not them.

It’s biology.

And there’s a deeper layer here.

The way we match short-term motivators (Transactional)

And long-term ones (Transcendent) with context at hand.

But that’s a separate conversation.

For now, the real question isn’t:

How do I motivate my team?

It’s this:

What is my team’s nervous system telling me?
And have I been paying attention?

Your autonomic nervous system runs below conscious thought.

And it operates in three states:

Ventral vagal
Safe. Open. Engaged.
This is where people think clearly and do their best work.

Sympathetic
Fight or flight.
Reactive. Defensive. Looks like energy, but it’s survival.

Dorsal vagal
Shutdown.
Quiet. Withdrawn. Minimal effort.

The person who used to contribute… and stopped.

That’s likely not disengagement.

That’s a nervous system that no longer feels safe participating.

And here’s the part most leaders miss:

These states are contagious.

You’re not just setting the tone.

You’re setting the biology.

You walk into Monday’s meeting carrying last week’s stress.

Your team picks it up instantly.

Before the agenda.
Before the first slide.
Before you say a word.

Tone. Pace. Eye contact.

All processed in milliseconds.

In the background. Subconsciously.

A stressed leader doesn’t motivate a team.

They dysregulate it.

So the question shifts:

What does this behaviour tell me about the state of my team?

Disengagement is data.
Silence is data.
Irritability is data.

None of it has to be personality.

All of it is physiology.

Before your first interaction this week:

Take 90 seconds.

Three slow exhales
(longer out than in)

Then ask:

What state am I bringing into this room?

You can’t regulate your team
if you haven’t regulated yourself.

A busy kitchen.

A glass breaks.

My grandmother tenses. Just slightly.

A comment from my grandfather doesn’t help.

Across the room, my baby reacts.

She doesn’t understand what happened.

She just read the room.

So I did the opposite.

Calm. Present. Slightly over-the-top warmth.

Within seconds, she settled.

Try it with your kids.

It works at every age.

Match tension with tension → it escalates
Meet it with steadiness → something shifts

You’re not managing behaviour.

You’re regulating a nervous system.

Your team works the same way.

They read your face
before the agenda
before the first slide
before you speak

So the question is:

What are they reading?

🎁 New resource available! 25 Resets For Leaders That Can’t Slow Down (tested on me and backed by science). You can download your copy here (it’s free for you).

If this resonated, and you want a clearer view of how stress is shaping your leadership:

We’ve also added a special offering – the mental toughness psychometric test (best documented on the market), MTQ48 Plus. Normally run for organizations, now 20 slots open for individual purchase (assessment + a 45-minute debrief with me).

It’s a simple way to see what’s happening beneath the surface — and what to adjust.

Book yours here: https://stan.store/creativebrain/p/mtq48-plus-assessment

The best leaders don’t rely on better motivation tactics.

They understand something more fundamental:

Performance starts in the body.

Every nervous system is asking, all the time:

Is it safe enough to show up fully here?

Your job is to make the answer yes.

Next in the Loop: What if we hired for nervous system flexibility? The top management considerations on who will deliver the results in uncertainty.

💡 Share this with someone who leads with calm strength.

I’m Mary Senkowska, a CEO at Creative Brain, where we build Adaptive and Resilient Leaders.

Have a lovely Sunday ahead!